Grandpa takes off his glasses and says he going to get into the shower to freshen up. In the meantime grandma takes off her clothes and gets into bed.

She decides to do some leg stretches to limber up ( it’s been awhile ). Well she throws her legs over her head and they get caught in the headboard.

Right then grandpa walks out of the bathroom and sees her that way. “My God woman” he says “you need to put your teeth in and comb your hair, you look like an asshole!”

Q)Whats warm and soft, when you go to bed, and hard, and stiff in the morning
A)Vomit

Q)Why do women have foreheads?
A)So men have a place to kiss them after a Blowjob

Q)What kind of file do you use to make a small hole larger
A)A Pedophile

Q)Why did the guy buy his wife, a coat and a dildo for her birthday?
A)He figured if she dont like coat, she could go fuck herself